December Roses
by Rosie06
Summary: My take on how the memory erasing went with Kana just a little more closure


Kana woke with a start. The same dream that had been haunting her each night had come again. Every detail was so clear, she had seen the room and the scene so many times, she could even recite the stories on the front page of the newspaper on Akito's side table; and then it would happen, he'd yell and Hatori would cry out in a muffled scream of anguish as the shards hit his eye. She watched helplessly, night after night, as her beloved got hurt. And each time she yelled at her dreamself, begging the woman to go protect him, but she stubbornly sat their in frozen terror and uselessly screamed and cried, every night. This can't go on, she thought. I can't go on; not like this.

Outside the rain was falling in a symphony with her own sobs. She wrapped a sweater around her shoulders, not even noticing that it was one Hatori had given her, long ago, and sat beneath the overhang to watch the summer storm roll through.

She thought back to when she first met him, and when she had learned of his secret. How relieved she had been to learn that he didn't hold her because he was afraid of chasing her away instead of clutching her to him as he always wanted to do. "I'm so useless" she cried, "I couldn't save him, no one needs me, I'm just worthless." Her eyes were huge in the dark and her face had gone from its usual beautiful, smooth pale color to hot red splotches.

"No, Kana, that is not true," a deep voice rasped behind her. Kana jumped and cried harder.

"Please just go, Hatori-san, please just leave me."

"Kana, I love you. I'm going to be ok and it doesn't matter what Akito says. Please, please, can't you see that there's nothing to be so upset about? I'm not angry at anyone, and I'll take care of you until you aren't either," he crouched down and tried to brush away the hair that stuck to her teary cheeks but she tensed up and scooted away.

"Please, Hatori. Please… just… leave."

"Kana… I… I can't watch you like this anymore. There is something I can do for you… would you let me explain it?" She made no response so he explained erasing as best and simple as he could. "Would you like me to do that?" he asked, love and pain softening his voice to a whisper that would barely breathe out of his throat. She nodded, and his heart sank. But he knew, just as well as she did, that it did matter what Akito said. His loyalty had to lie first with Akito. He had already run away and had his lifetime with Kana, it just ended a little bit sooner than he had hoped, and he could feel his heart freezing from being removed from the warmth of that life.

"I really, really loved you, I just can't feel this way anymore."

"Oh," he said softly, bringing his hands up to her temples, "I as well."

He held her held softly by firmly, this would be the last time he'd be so close to her, he knew. He tilted her gaze up so that their eyes met. He opened his mouth to say something but the words were stuck. Kana's face tightened and she closed her eyes and turned her head back down and whispered, "I'm sorry, I couldn't protect you."

Hatori's heart finished freezing. It hurt too much to watch her in such pain. His eyes darted over her hung head and then he erased the painful memories and she feel back unconsciously. He reached out and brushed his fingers against her face. "I am the one who should have such regret and sorrow, dearest Kana."

He put her head in his lap and let his few tears fall upon her. He mourned the end of that warm life in spring in absolute silence. When the sun began to rise he lifted her and put her back into her bed. He thought of all the memories that he no longer shared with her; the memories that were now his alone, and that he would lock up tight and tuck away until he was stronger. Kana had always said the most wonderful things. Once, when he gave her roses, she said," You know what my father used to say? 'God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December.' Isn't that nice? I always think of that when I see flowers in the winter. "You will be ok now. I'll make sure that you will be ok for the rest of your life. And I, I will continue into a new one, my December rose."

Kana woke surrounded by attendants. They fussed over her and told her how she'd suddenly fallen ill and gave her a letter from the Doctor thanking her for her time but asking that she seek alternate employment. But she couldn't help but feel that something, some part of her, had gone missing.


End file.
